Sensitive Is the New Strong
This week, I am listening to Sensitive Is the New Strong: The Power of Empaths in an Increasingly Harsh World by Anita Moorjani.
It is an incredible book and, for me, a guide to understanding my own nature. Anita describes empaths as deeply sensitive beings who feel and process the world more intensely than others.
I felt moved to share my reflections on empath sensitivity and what it means to live with a nervous system that experiences life so deeply.
When we are unaware of this sensitivity, we unknowingly give our power away.
Because we feel others’ emotions so strongly, we take on their energies, often abandoning our own needs for decades. This can show up in our bodies as illness, chronic stress, or a life that feels unfulfilled.
For many empaths, this also shows up as chronic anxiety, persistent stress, or episodes of depression.
When we continuously push our limits, perform beyond our emotional capacity, and remain hyperattuned to others’ needs, the nervous system eventually collapses under the pressure.
The last decade of my life has been a journey of reclaiming and embracing this beautiful sensitivity. After a period of intense grief, I allowed myself to follow my curiosity and intuition.
That choice led to many synchronicities and profound inner shifts.
I deeply resonate with Anita’s belief that each one of us is a unique expression of the divine, here to live a life with intention and purpose. A fulfilling life begins with believing that I am as important as others and that my life truly matters.
What Empath Sensitivity Really Means?
Earlier, I used to cringe at the word “Empath.” The word is thrown around so casually online that it often feels diluted into a buzzword.
Many people confuse basic empathy, a universal human capacity to understand and care about others’ feelings, with being an empath, which is the intense experience of absorbing and identifying with others’ emotions and energies as one’s own. When this distinction is lost, genuine sensitivity gets trivialized.
For highly sensitive people, porous emotional boundaries are not a metaphor. They are lived realities that can lead to exhaustion, burnout, and a deep sense of overwhelm. Over time, this overwhelm often becomes normalized anxiety or a quiet, functional depression.
Empaths learn to keep going even when they feel internally depleted, criticizing themselves for not coping better, instead of recognizing that their systems have been under constant emotional strain.
A Nervous System Wired for Survival
Anita’s book had been sitting on my Audible wishlist for a long time. When it came time to spend my credits, I felt guided to listen to it finally.
One of the paradoxes she describes is that empaths often seek external validation to feel secure in their inner world. Ironically, the moment I started listening to this book, I felt a growing sense of inner certainty. Her words validated my lived experience and helped me understand that my nervous system works differently. I am not broken. I am different.
Before this understanding, I internalized stress as a personal failure. When I could not fix a situation, regulate someone else’s emotions, or keep the peace, I turned the blame inward. Many empaths do this, believing that if something is unresolved, it must be because they did not try hard enough.
At the end of the first chapter, I scored 21 on the empath quiz, placing me in the “most likely an empath” category. Had I taken the quiz three years ago, I would probably have scored even higher. With that understanding, comments like “you are too sensitive,” “naive,” or “gullible” no longer sting the way they once did. They now make sense in a broader context.
When the Body Learns to Brace
A few months ago, I revisited memories of verbally violent outbursts by a male figure in our family during times when he felt overwhelmed by life. Each time I sensed similar energy, my body would freeze and brace itself. I remember enduring a familiar, gut-wrenching routine.
An adult who was meant to keep us safe would spiral into an alcohol-fuelled rant about their life, about how we were letting them down, and about how we needed to be more grateful for what they provided. Eventually. ending with self-deprecating sobbing, leaving young children to console and coddle an adult to sleep. For days afterward, I would fawn over them, trying to restore a sense of safety and hoping it would be the last time.
Same Event, Different Nervous Systems
My sister remembers these episodes very differently. In her recollection, the experiences have clean edges. She reduced them to adults, losing their minds and needing space to express themselves.
In her own way of trying to soothe me, she once said, “Oh, I don’t even remember it being stressful. Tu naa bahut sensitive hai. Strong bun.” (You are too sensitive. You need to be stronger. The world is a harsh place.) I can now see that this reframing may have been her way of coping with the same moments that overwhelmed me.
Becoming a Side Character in Your Own Life
The fact that I am only now opening up to my sisters about these experiences says a lot about how deeply those moments shaped my inner world. I learned to minimize my pain and slowly became a side character in my own story.
This self-minimization often becomes fertile ground for anxiety and depression. When empaths are repeatedly scapegoated for other people’s discomfort or emotional struggles, they begin to believe they are the problem.
Carrying responsibility that was never theirs slowly erodes self-worth and inner safety.
And yet, even when you do not consciously know that your life is as important as others, there is a quiet knowing inside you. A knowing that you are meant to live a more empowered and joyful life. A life that feels lighter, easier, and more authentic.
Our habitual thoughts shape how we relate to ourselves and to the future. When empaths consistently devalue their own needs and desires, they unconsciously form belief systems that undermine their well-being and keep them caught in cycles of self-doubt and unfulfilled potential. If this resonates, you may find it helpful to read my earlier post on building a stronger belief system.
How Empath Sensitivity Leads to People-Pleasing?
This gap between the life we are living and the life we long for widens when we repeatedly discount our own experiences to keep the peace.
Empaths, as Anita explains, often place others’ feelings above their own. They need the people around them to feel okay in order to feel okay themselves. We say YES when we want to say NO. We stretch ourselves thin to accommodate others.
This act is not truly selfless. Because for empaths, how others feel directly affects their own sense of well-being. When this pattern goes unexamined, it keeps the nervous system in a near-constant state of stress.
Anxiety becomes the background hum of daily life, and depression can emerge when the body finally protests against years of emotional overextension.
Choosing Self-Trust Over Self-Abandonment
If you recognize yourself here, I invite you to pause the next time you feel the urge to rescue or endlessly console someone.
Ask yourself gently, what am I getting out of trying to fix this situation? Why am I taking responsibility for another adult’s emotional state?
Compassion is natural. Self-abandonment is not.
In an increasingly chaotic world, our energy is finite. Choosing to put on your own oxygen mask first is not selfish. It is the beginning of self-trust.
